The Day Of Whine And Roses: What Not To Give A NYC Girl For Valentine’s Day

A pre-Valentine’s Day warning to lovers who want to stay in love post February 14–don’t try this at home: Landlordrocknyc’s  short but effective list of really, really bad VD gift ideas.

The Number One Bad Idea For Valentine’s Day: A trinket from any jewelry store with a cheesy, singing commercial. Warning, this “Every Kiss Begins With Kay” spoof spot has a four-letter word that doesn’t begin with Kay but ya gotta love the “Every Divorce Begins With Kay” lyric at the end.

More bad ideas:

A Six Foot Tall Teddy Beargram–Common kiddies. Have you seen the size of most NY bhl_largeImage_3_20130114apartments?  Even if she’s still enough of an ingenue (or a weird older chick) who collects stuffed critters, this one is not cute or romantic.

A Live Lobstergram for Two.  The prepared dinners sound indulgent and sexy,  lobstersales2_2247_3548829but don’t go live unless you want to recreate the famous lobster scene from Annie Hall.

More Valentine’s don’ts:

Roses from the corner deli. Trust me, they will never open or last.

Chocolates in a heart-shaped box from Duane Reade.

A ‘pashmina’ shawl from a NY street vendor.

51FrzjdThHL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_Sex For Dummies Written By Doctor Ruth.

51uivj7SzOL._SY355_State Of The Art Bathroom Scale.

Hermes silk twill scarf , 36" x 36"  square, $410

Hermes silk twill scarf , 36″ x 36″ square, $410

Rememer, even if it’s really last minute, you’ll always have Paris–meaning French perfume, champagne or an Hermes scarf in that

hot orange  box and shopping bag will always work.

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